Today has always been an important day for me. It is the day I was born and over the years, it has become the day I do a deep analysis of my life; I acknowledge what is going well and what I can do to keep it that way, and I also take into account the areas in which I have failed and strategize on ways I can make that better. I am a good man, and I have lived a fulfilling life for more than half a century. My reflection process this year has been especially hard because I had a near death experience which changed my whole perspective on life.
I was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago. For all my efforts to keep healthy and do everything right by the book, cancer still reached out its claws and imbedded deeply into me. I was desperate and confused. I called out to God and for the first time in my life I felt like He could not hear me. I told the doctors they were wrong and demanded a new diagnosis; the results declared that I indeed had cancer. I was sentenced to chemotherapy. In addition to nausea, bone pain, insomnia, and neuropathy, feeling depressed has been one of the major side effects.
I try to maintain my positivity but #depression is a hard condition to fight, especially in situations when you feel so alone even when you are surrounded by people. I have talked to counselors and some have been more impactful than others. Amidst this journey (I am still receiving chemotherapy), I have learned that it is important to draw on my inner strength and keep myself motivated. I have also learned to better appreciate the people who love me because when you are down, it becomes easier to distinguish between who looks down on you and who looks down at you.
I was depressed because I was so worried, and the more I worried, the deeper my depression became.
Life is a gift, a fleeting gift. We have to endeavor to do as much as we can in the time that we have been given. It is more blessed to give than to receive and I am giving as much of myself to the service of others as possible. I am thankful for my life journey, it has made me strong enough for this life I lead. Happy birthday to me. <3